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Random Thoughts

Let It Out

So I haven’t cried yet.  Actually I just feel blah.  I’n not even sure how to make myself cry.  That’s a basc function we should all be able to induce don’t you think?  Pretty sure it would be healthier if I “let it out” as they say, but I don’t feel like I’m holding anything in.  I’m just waiting.  Waiting for the tears, or the anger, or something.  Actually waiting for someone to call and tell us what’s going on. 

When’s the funeral?  What are we doing this afternoon and tonight?  Are we all meeting at the Farm or would that be too difficult for some? 

See, I don’t wait well.  I’m a take action kinda girl.  I’d be better off right now if they had asked me to go to the funeral home and plan everything and give orders and make decisions.  If I had that sort of stuff to do I’d probably also “let it out”. 

My husband woke me up this morning and I though he was leaving to go get me new tires for the car.  He wasn’t.  he hugged me and I just knew.  My Mom had just called to say my Grandpa Hathaway (Ray) had gone to sleep and passed away this morning at St. Thomas Elgin General Hospital.  He’d been there since the end of May. 

Now I have no living grandparents.  I’m 33 years old and the closest blood relatives to me are my parents and brother.  Grandparents are important.  They are the story tellers…the link to the past.  They can tell you about their grandparents and sometimes great grandparents.  They teach you things your parents can’t and they have infinite patience. 

There will be no more stories.  There will be no more songs.

About angelabee

BEE-lieve The BUZZ!! Beauty Consultant and Blogger Historic House Museum Manager Diploma in Cultural Resource Management from University of Victoria


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